Single and Saved

Real talk ladies, what comments, thoughts, and/or reactions did you get from your husband, boyfriend, or other male friends when you did your BC “Big Chop?”   You can read how I began my natural hair journey on my “About” page.  My BC was my reaction to a breakup with my fiancee.  Once I presented my BC to friends, facebook friends, and family members; all the men had something to say.  My cut was “hair therapy” for me.  I simply channeled my negative energy and emotions into something positive and beautiful.  All I could think about was cutting out hate, co-dependency, and hurt.  My focus from that point was all about me.  I did not care about the good or bad comments.  However, I received more positive comments and reactions.  Here are some of the comments I heard, “Girl, Why Did You Cut Your Hair.”   “Wow, You Are Wearing That Short Hair, I love it.”   “Everyone Can’t Wear That Style, You Have The Head and Face For It.”   Here is my favorite one of all, “You Still Like Men, Right Baby?”  Like all of a sudden I become attracted to women when I cut my hair in a short, wavy, faded style.  The only thing that gets my goat is being prejudged and criticized, when you don’t know my story.

On the funny side, I went to a friend’s party a month after my cut.  I was not really ready to show the world my short hair.   I added some weave, and asked my sister to cut my hair into a layered style (see photo).  At the party, I met a guy.  He was, how can I say it, “All Into Me.”   We danced all night and exchanged numbers.  We talked on the phone for a month.  He kept asking me, “When Can I See You Again.”   I finally told him about my natural hair journey.  He was hesitant, then said, “So, I Still Want To See You.”   A short time later, we went out on a date.   When he he picked me up, he had no comments about my hair and no compliments for me at all (see photo).  I said, “You don’t have anything to say about my hair.”   He said, “Oh, it’s cool with me.”  Needless to say he was not into my nappy, blonde, coily hair.   We proceeded on our date, it was the shortest date I ever had in my life.  After about 45 minutes of him watching the game at the bar, and him talking about buying a flat screen tv, the evening was a bust for me.  So I suggested we call it a night.   Do you know what’s even funnier to me, on the way home to my house he had the audacity to say, “Will you spend the night with me tonight.”   I started cracking up in his face, and said, “Are you kidding me, no way buddy.”   I said some other things, but I won’t digress.

My BC gave me the energy to speak up and stand up and defend my morals and character.  My focus is all about me, loving me, and preparing myself for someone who complete me.  Someone who loves God, hand picked and chosen especially by God just for me.  I am confident my true love is out there looking for me.   Perhaps when he finds me, my hair will be stronger, kinkier, and healthier.   He will love my coily, ziggly, thick hair and enjoy touching it and admiring my natural beauty from within, and know that the outer beauty is a bonus.  We will live a happy, nappy life, enjoying our friends and family, serving our God and helping others.

But for now, I am still Saved, Single, Nappy and Happy!

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